Healing, hope

(This post is part of the April A to Z blogging challenge.)

I had planned to do health and health testing, but I couldn't find the inspiration to write. I guess it feels like there's already good info out there for that topic.

Healing, on the other hand, feels much more relevant to my life. Healing both from physical and mental blows. I never realized how much it would suck to retire Duncan, how much grieving would be involved in losing his help,even if I hadn't physically lost him. Adjusting tookmore time than I expected, and losing Strider as a SDIT at roughly the same time I lost Duncan's help as a SD did not help matters.

Watching Duncan heal again and again means watching him hurt again and again. From a broken toe to his tooth extraction, it breaks my heart a little each time he comes whining to me. He's the stoic dog who lets me hurt him without a whimper. He'll squeak for the vet, but he holds it together for me.

Getting my emotional balance without relying on him has been hard. Keeper has helped, as she starts to pick up tasks. I hadn’t realized how much of a difference having a dog versus not having a dog made in my life.

Duncan’s mouth is healing. I’m setting Keeper up for her spay. I’m getting a grip on life with a SDIT and without a SD… and hopeful that things will improve. I hope Duncan has another quiet year on his health, that his mouth heals well, and that he continues to enjoy being retired. I hope Keeper’s skill set grows until she’s a full public work SD. I hope I’m able to make peace with where I am, and leverage my limited abilities to the fullest.

But it’s all still a tipping point, and I don't have too much to say on the topic. Maybe next year.