Under the ADA there are two questions a business can ask (the 3rd used to be if you were disabled.) 1) Is this animal required because of a disability? 2) What work or task has this animal been trained to perform?
Those are the rarest questions I get, as most workers look at the pack on my dog and move on. Usually, it's people, just general population, asking all kinds of questions. Generally, these are well meaning, but they're a time sink. Without a dog, I can go shopping and maybe talk to the cashier. With a dog, the flood gates open and I'm left dealing with a lot of comments and queries. It's part and parcel of using the dog, and I try to be polite, but sometimes, I'm just tired and don't want to deal with people. If you're the tenth "nice looking dog!" for the day, I might nod instead of saying "thank you."
Once I get a pack figured out for her, I'll probably print of FAQs for Keeper, with the ADA handout, and see if I can spread knowledge without depleting my energy reserves. In the meantime, I'll get started with some of the more common questions.
What's his name?
Keeper apparently needs girly ribbons. She gets this question, too. The problem is, if I say the dog's name, the next phrase out of this stranger's mouth is usually "Hello, (Name)!" or "Good (Name)!" which distracts my dog. Worse, people call out that name from across parking lots or stores, which could cause serious issues for the safety and well being of me and my dogs. At this point, I give out false names, or try to explain why I don't tell random people the dog's name.
What breed/mix is that?
Duncan's a big brown mutt, Strider was a bicolor GSD from working lines, and Keeper's a Bernese Mountain Dog. Not a Lab in the bunch. Rarely, with Strider and Keeper, I get "Is that a (breed)?!" This one's not so bad... unless it's the only question, yelled out from a distance. Don't make me feel like a zoo exhibit, or like a checked item on a scavenger hunt.
Why do you need a dog? or the even less polite What's wrong with you?
I do try to answer in broad terms- mobility and balance, retrieves and not falling. The first time, I was talking to a guy behind me in line at a HyVee, and it turned out he was an off the clock manager also shopping that store, and he headed off another manager bustling up to quiz me about Duncan. It's a large part of why I try to remain polite and answer questions when I'm physically and mentally up for the time and effort.
However, these questions, at their heart, are asking for private medical information. If I'm tired, the answer will be "I'm disabled." Asking follow up questions is prying into things that I don't want to share.
Can I pet him?
No.
Seriously, s/he's here for me, not for you. Duncan was a horrible flirt, and would have gone from person to person getting petted at first, before he figured out his job. Once he figured out his job, I would occasionally use people as a reward. Strider wasn't and Keeper isn't the same sort of social butterfly personality. Strider was willing to sit there, but Keeper doesn't care to be pet by new people. It's not personal, and if you saw someone else petting my dog just minutes before, assume I know them. With Keeper, she'd just as soon you not touch her.
This leads to the rude people who pet without asking- that's a dangerous habit. Not all dogs like strangers. I don't work dogs with aggressive or strong defensive drives because of my issues, but some people rely on their SDs for multiple types of security. It's best to ask the human, get permission, then wait for the dog to come to you for attention. Dogs can be startled or scared by sudden touching. Keep your hands to yourself.
Even if the dog is sitting or laying down, don't assume the dog is not working. They might be creating a buffer for an anxious handler, or watching for a medical condition change to alert to.
What's he do?
Can be uncomfortably close to asking about my disability. The dog helps me. The details aren't your business.
Are you training him? or How can you stand to give him up when the training is done?
Glad to know I look that good, but I only look that good because of the dog's help. The dog's for me. The underlying message here is that disability is something that should be visible, and that just isn't true for many. I can pass for "normal," but that doesn't mean I don't need a dog.
If you'll notice, the theme here is almost exclusively questions about the dog or my relationship with the dog. Rarely, if ever, are the questions I hear while working a dog the same sort of questions I'd hear if I was on my own. While the dogs help make life possible, they're not the only thing in my life.
Most the time, I'd rather not strike up a dozen conversations in the grocery store. Sometimes, like answering the questions of a K9 handler paired with a young dog about when he could expect his dog to mellow out and focus, it's a conversation I enjoy, because it's not an interview or interrogation, but a true conversation. All too often, people ask questions, seem to realize they're being nosy, and thus they tell me about their dog (who looks just like my dog, only it's 20 pounds, white and hairy). If I didn't ask about your dog, I don't need a life history, especially not for the childhood dog killed by a car.
I have a limited amount of energy, and I can't afford to expend it on talking or standing. So if I, or another handler blow you off in the store, we're not trying to be rude. We're trying to got through our day, or shopping trip. We don't want to answer or dodge those same few questions yet again. It may be the first service dog you've ever seen, but your questions are not new to us.
No comments:
Post a Comment